Too Serious too soon
by XxStephXx
Summary: James and Lily are getting divorced but they still love each other but are too afraid to admit it. What secret is Lily keeping from James. R
1. Chapter 1

**Divorce Court**

"All rise for the honourable judge Lennon" said a court clerk

Sirius Black was sitting in the spectator gallery of the court. He couldn't believe he was actually there, two of his best friends were getting divorced. He never thought it would have come to this, James and Lily obviously belonged together but they were the only two people who couldn't see it.

"Be seated" said the judge, "this is the divorce of James Arnold Potter and Lillian Evans Potter" he said leafing through the papers, "What are the grounds for this divorce?"

"Mr Potter's infidelity" said Lily's lawyer.

"Mrs Potter's infidelity and emotional detachment from the marriage" said James' lawyer.

"Emotional detachment, what a load of bullshit" said Lily, "What the hell is that James?"

"I thought you were the smart one sweetie" said James

"I was not emotionally detached" said Lily angrily, "if anyone was it was you"

"What the hell, I was 100 there emotionally in our marriage" argued James.

"Except when you were banging Kim from muggle liason department" shouted Lily

"You were screwing the pool boy" James shouted back

"Well at least he could get the job done, which is more than I can say about you and I'm not talking about cleaning the pool"

"That is not what you were saying at the time"

"I'm a good actress"

"Well..." started James before the judge interupted him.

"ENOUGH, I've heard enough, now both of you go into the room on your left while the papers are drawn up, they'll be sent in for you to sign"

"The same room your honour, it is standard procedure for them to be in separate rooms while they await the papers" said James' lawyer.

"I make the rules in my courtroom and I want Mr and Mrs Potter to wait in the same room" said the judge.

"Great" muttered Lily loudly.

"And might I suggest you use this time to try and sort out your differences" said the judge.

James and Lily didn't say anything, they both got up and went into the room.

They went in and sat down in opposite sides of the room. They were in there almost 10 minutes before either of them said anything.

"These damn shoes" said Lily as she removed her shoes, "they've been killing me all day"

"I warned you before you bought them that they would" said James

"Don't start" sighed Lily, "I'm just trying to be civil, I'm sorry about what happened out there"

"Me too" said James, "How did _we_ end up like this?"

"I dunno. We just..." said Lily,"we're just not...Oh I don't know"

"I thought we'd make it"

"So did I, sometimes things just don't work out the way you thought they would"

"I guess" sighed James, "for what it's worth, it's all over between me and Kim, it was never anything really. I was never going to leave you"

"Yeah and same with Mario, he's gone"

Just then the court clerk came into the room,

"Here are the papers, you each sign a copy then switch and sign the other copy" said the clerk as he handed them each a booklet of papers, "You can either sign them here or take them home and do it, as long as they are filed within a year"

"Okay, thank you" said Lily

"Yeah thanks" said James

The clerk left the room, leaving Lily and James staring at each other across the room.

"So... I guess this is it" said Lily

"Guess so"

_'What am I doing. I love her, I don't want our marriage to end. Should I tell her? Probably not, I cheated on her, she hates me, she's just trying to be civil'_ thought James miserable

_'Oh my god I'm actually going to have to sign these. I never thought it would get this far, I thought we'd work it out. I love him so much, I've loved him since I was 16, I don't think I'll ever feel this way about anyone again. He's my soulmate, my one true love. Maybe it's not too late to tell him, why I...? No it is he'll never believe it now, he just thinks I slept with Mario because I'm a cold selfish bitch, which I suppose I am, I didn't trust him enough to tell him..."_

Both of them picked up their Quills, but neither of them could bring themselves to touch the papers with them.

"You know the hardest thing about this?" said Lily

"Uh deciding whether to sign Evans or Potter"

"No" said Lily smiling, it was just such a 'James' thing to say, "knowing that I'm not only losing a husband but a best friend as well"

"I know, but we'll still be friends"

"Do you know how many couples must say that and then never see each other again"

"That won't happen to us"

"I hope not, but I don't think we'll be able to control it"

"How so?"

"Well I'm sure your next wife won't be too happy about you keeping in touch with me"

"Next wife, how many do you think I'm going to have. I only ever thought I'd have one" laughed James

"Well I think you'll have 4 or 5. You'll end up bankrupt at 40 from paying child support to all your ex wives"

"Wow thanks, looks like I've got a lot to look forward to" laughed James then he stopped, "wait ALL my ex wives, you're not... are you?"

"No I'm not" laughed Lily, masking her pain, _'not anymore'_

"Are you sure? You'd tell me if you were, wouldn't you?"

Lily just laughed

"Lils it's not funny. Are you pregnant or not?"

"No I'm not but your face right now is hilarious"

"Are you absolutely positive? I'll support you no matter what, even if it's not..."

"I'm not pregnant you idiot"

"You sure?"

"I'm positive, now back to the matter at hand" said Lily reading down the divorce papers, "You get the house, I get the joint account at Gringotts"

"Uh huh" said James also reading the papers, "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, you can tell me anything, you know that"

"I don't want to sign these papers"

"Thank god, me neither. I'm 22 I'm not ready to be an ex wife"

"Really, I'm so glad"

_'LIAR'_ James' mind screamed at him, _"you want her back. TELL HER!'_

"So...what do we do?"

"Well we've got a year"

"How about I sign my copy and you sign yours then when we're ready we'll switch and sign the other one" said Lily

"Okay, but that means we'll have to see each other again to sign the other copies"

"What, don't you want to see me again?"

"Of course, I didn't mean it like that" said James, _' I want see you all the time, I want to wake up in the morning next to you, I want to be the one to kiss you goodnight'_

"Or we could both die really old and alone because we lost the papers and couldn't get a divorce"

"Jesus Lils, I'm scared to leave this room, you've painted such a bright picture of my future" said James, _'although I know my future will never be bright if you're not in it'_

"Sorry" laughed Lily, "so we're agreed?"

"Looks like it"


	2. New Flatmate

**New Flatmate**

It had been a month since James and Lily didn't get divorced.

Lily moved in with her two best friends, Kelly Henderson and Marissa Paton, who lived next door to none other than Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

James had spent the month in Egypt, on an Auror training course. But now he's back and is moving in with Sirius and Remus, who haven't told him that Lily was living next door.

"So is that you all unpacked?" asked Remus collapsing on the sofa.

"Yeah, looks like it" said James, "thanks again for letting me move in"

"No problem. Now it really is the Marauder bachelor pad we always wanted" said Sirius as he handed James a beer.

"How are you, about Lily and everything?" asked Remus

"Uh, I'm okay I guess. I miss her though" said James

"There's something you should know..." started Remus, but he was interupted by someone entering the flat.

"Sirius, Siri, Remy oh Remy" shouted a tipsy Lily

"In here" shouted Sirius

Lily stumbled into the room, "hey Mari sorta collapsed downstairs. Can one of you help her?"

"I'll get her" said Sirius leaving the room, then he peeked his head back, "meet our new flatmate"

Lily looked over to where Sirius and saw James staring at her.

"J-James, you-you moved in _here_" she said shocked to see him.

"Uh yeah"

"I hate to break up this reunion, but where's Kelly, she was out with you right?" said Remus

"She's fine, she's trying to sober Mari up" said Lily, trying to block out the fact that James was there.

"How did she get into this state?" said Sirius, coming back into the room carrying Marissa, closely followed by Kelly.

"Ask Lily" said Kelly

"Me" said Lily surprised, "What did I do? I didn't make her get drunk"

"She only got drunk to try and keep up with you"

"Calm down" said Lily taking her wand out. Seeing James had really sobered her up, she could already feel the heartache coming back. "Soberio"

Then Mari started to stir.

"Wh-what happened? Why am I on the sofa?" said Mari sitting up.

"You blacked out AGAIN" said Kelly disapprovingly

"Oh" said Mari, "oh well no harm done. Time for the phone number count"

"Do we have to" groaned Kelly she hated this game.

"Yes" insisted Mari, "I got 17 how many did you get?"

"One" said Kelly unhappily

"Can I just say, that I find this childish game very demeaning to men" said Sirius

"Oh, shut up, we hear how you talk about the women you sleep with" retorted Mari, "Lils, how many did you get?"

They all looked over at Lily who was staring at James, almost as if she was in a trance. James was still sitting on the sofa, he hadn't taken his eyes off Lily since she had walked into the room.

"Hi James, did you get unpacked okay?" asked Kelly

"Yeah, fine, thanks" said James still not taking his eyes off of Lily.

"Y-you knew he was..." said Lily

"Yeah I did, sorry" said Kelly guiltily.

"I didn't" said Mari, outraged, "Why didn't I know?"

"Because Kels is sleeping with Remus and you're not sleeping with me" said Sirius

"That is so not fair" grumbled

"Well you know how we can fix this" said Sirius winking at Mari.

"You wish Black" smirked Mari

"I know I do" muttered Sirius

"Anyway..." said Mari trying to change the subject

"I got 23 numbers" said Lily quietly, "I'm going to bed" then to James' surprise she tapped the living room wall with her wand, and muttered, "Sirius Black is a sex god" and a door appeared, Lily opened the door and went through to the girls' flat.

"So I uh guess she moved in next door, with you guys" said James as Lily closed the door behind her and it disappeared.

"Yeah she did" said Mari

"We were going to tell you, just before she walked in" said Remus

"I think, I'll go to bed" said James quietly.


	3. Horny Leprachauns and flying ladles

**Horny Leprauchans and flying ladles**

The next morning Sirius, Mari, Kelly and Remus were in the kitchen talking about James and Lily. Just then James came into the kitchen, they all stopped talking abruptly.

"Morning" said James distantly

"Morning" said everyone

A door appeared on the kitchen wall, and Lily stumbled through.

"Coffee" she said sleepily, and clearly hungover from the night before.

"Here" said Sirius as he handed Lily a cup of coffee, she sat down and started to drink it.

_'I remember when she was hungover before, she would come and sit on my lap and I'd feed her coffee, I'd stroke her hair. But now I can't even give her a hug'_ thought James miserably

"I had the strangest dream last night" said Lily waking up a little, "I dreamt that your new flatmate was..."

"A horny leprauchan" laughed Sirius

"I had one dream about a horny leprauchan and now I'm the leprauchan lover" said Lily

"You and those damn leprauchan dreams" chuckled James

"She's had more dreams about randy leprauchans" said Sirius, thrilled to have something to tease Lily about.

"She had them every few months, in fact one of them resulted in a rather interesting experience" said James

Lily's head snapped in James direction when he said this.

"Oooo what was it? Tell me" said Sirius

"Well..." started James but he was cut off when Lily lauched a ladle at his head, "hey" he said rubbing his head, "What was that for?"

"Don't you dare tell him" said Lily

"Why, you aren't ashamed, are you?" said James

"No, but if you tell him, I'll be forced to tell him what happened on May 25th last year, in his office, with his tie" said Lily sweetly

"Ah, May 25th, that was awesome" grinned James, "I think he'd appreciate a story like that"

Suddenly Lily lauched herself at James catching him off guard, and she had him pinned to the ground in seconds.

"M-Maybe not" said James his voice shaking in mock terror.

"Good boy" said Lily getting off him.

"Bloody hell woman" said James, rubbing his wrists, then he suddenly pounced on Lily this time pinning her to the ground.

"Ahh get off you idiot" shreiked Lily

"uh uh you pinned me, it's only fair you be punished" teased James

"Oh and whats my punishment going to be?" Lily teased back, very much enjoying having James so close.

"Hmmm well I haven't decided yet"

"Or I could just tell Sirius that we had sex on his desk, and used his tie instead of handcuffs" said Lily loudly before pushing James off her.

"WHAT" shouted Sirius, "My desk...my-my tie"

Lily and James both got to their feet. Remus, Mari and Kelly were trying to stifle their laughter at Sirius' outrage.

"Wait, what tie?"

"And you have to work with him, all day and listen to him rant" said Lily smirking at James

"I said WHAT TIE?"demanded Sirius

"um..." said Lily pointing to the tie that was currently around his neck.

"Arggghhhh" said Sirius as he frantically removed his tie.

"Well, Mari, Remus our shifts start in 5 minutes" said Lily

"Oh no you don't. You're not leaving me with him like this" said James

Remus, Mari and Lily were healer at St Mungo's. James, Sirius and Kelly were Aurors.

"Sorry, we've gotta go" said Lily before apparating.

_'Wow, she's amazing. I can't believe she managed to pin me. God I love her so much'_


	4. New Desk

**New Desks**

"Trixie, please I need a new desk" pleaded Sirius

Lily walked into Sirius' office and saw him begging Beatrice the Head of Ministry Supplies, for a new desk. She also saw James trying to stifle his laughter.

"I'm sorry, Mr Black but there is nothing wrong with your desk" said Beatrice

"Nothing wrong" stuttered Sirius, "he...They" he said when he spotted Lily

"Me, what did I do" said Lily putting on her I'm-so-innocent face

"**you know what you did**"

James was know openly laughing.

"Trix, I can't work on that desk. **Do you know what they did with my tie?**"

Lily couldn't help it she burst out laughing as well.

"It's not funny" yelped Sirius

"I'm sorry Mr Black, but there is nothing I can do" said Beatrice, "good day" then she left the room.

"Trixie, Babe come on" pleaded Sirius after her, "**What's so bloody funny?**"

"You. That was hilarious" laughed James

"It is not and I want your desk, mine is contaminated"

"Well then, you might not want mine. We've had a LOT of fun on that desk" said James

"What, are no desks safe? Where else have you done it?" said Sirius completely outraged.

"Well, there was..." started Lily

"La, la, la, la, not listening" said Sirius sticking his fingers in his ears like a toddler

"Well, thats mature" said James, "anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you were working"

"I am, but Ministry physicals are next week" said Lily

"awwwww I hate physicals" moaned Sirius taking his fingers out his ears.

"Sorry, but they have to be done" said Lily, "Sirius yours is at 10am, James yours at 10:30"

"Who;s doin them? Don't suppose Mari will be doin mine?" asked Sirius trying to sound casual

"Sorry, Siri you're with me, James you're with Remus" said Lily

"Great" muttered James

"Yesss, score.So it'll just be me and you naked in a little room" said Sirius suggestively, "any desks in there, since that appears to be your preferred postion"

"It will only be you taking off any clothes" said Lily

"You know you won't be able to resist my beautiful body"

"I'm sure I'll manage" said Lily leaving the room.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" shouted James as soon as he was sure that Lily was out of earshot.

"What?"

"You were hittin on my wife"

"Your ex wife mate, and I wasn't being serious"

"I don't care she's your best friends wife"

"Mate, you need to get used to calling her your ex wife, you guys are divorced"

"No, we're... wait she didn't tell you" said James, "we didn't sign the papers, we're still married"

"What? Seriously? Why didn't you sign the papers?"

"She said she wanted to be friends and that she was too young to be an ex wife"

"So why didn't you sign?"

"She wasn't ready and I didn't want to push her"

"No, you didn't because you love her, you don't want to divorce her, you want her back"

"What? Don't be ridiculous"

"James this is me. Admit it you want her back, you love Lily"

"Okay. Alright I love her. Is that so terrible?" said James, "anyway it doesn't matter, she's over it now"

"What makes you say that?"

"Come on, last night, she had 23 guys' numbers. She..."

"She didn't call any of them, she never does. She hasn't been on a date since you. I've seen her turn down at least 20 guys. She didn't sign, not because she doesn't want to be an ex wife, but because she doesn't want to be **your** ex wife"

"No, I don't think"

"Look I've practically been living with her for the past month and I haven't seen her half as happy as she was this morning. She loves you"

"What about Mario? If she loved me so much, she wouldn't have been sleeping with him?" asked James.

"Look, I don't have all the answers" said Sirius, "but she does love you, and you slept with Kim"

"Because I knew she was..." said James emotionally, "I love her I don't know what went wrong"

"I know" said Sirius, "maybe this is a conversation you should be having with her, not me"


	5. Lily's Date

**Lily's Date**

"Sirius" shouted Lily coming through the door into the boys' living room

"What" Sirius shouted back

"Do you still have my black shoes?"

"Which ones?"

"The pointy ones with the heels" said Lily

"They're in my room"

"What are you doing with her shoes, Padfoot you're not a cross dresser are you?" said James who was lounging on the sofa.

"No I'm not" said Sirius

"He has a weird thing about pointy shoes" said Lily

"I can't help it, it's just so sexy" said Sirius, " a woman wearing nothing but..."

"Arghhh I don't want to know, just go and get my shoes and don't ever tell me what you do with them" said Lily

"Okay" said Sirius and then Lily and James could hear him grumbling all the way to his room.

"Here" said Sirius, handing Lily her shoes, "Where are you going? You three aren't going clubbing again, after the state Mari was in last night"

"No, I've got a date" said Lily casually

"A-a date. With who?" said Sirius, silently wondering how James would take this news especially after their conversation earlier

"Um Kyle Fredrickson" said Lily not looking at James even though she could feel his eyes on her

"From the Muggle worthy Excuse commitee?" asked Sirius, "How do you know that boring sod?"

"I met him this morning when I went to give him the time for his physical. He asked me out, I said yes. What's the problem?" said Lily.

"Nothing, just look after yourself, okay?" said Sirius

"Okay" said Lily, before going back through the door.

As soon as the door disappeared, James exploded, "A DATE, SHE'S GOING ON A DATE, MY WIFE"

"I didn't know" said Sirius, "she hasn't been on one since..."

"Who was I kidding anyway," said James bitterly, "she's over me, she's moved on"

"No she still loves you. I know it"

"Don't Siri, it's over" said James miserably then he got up and started to moved towards his bedroom.

"That's it, you're giving up again. That's how you lost her in the first place" said Sirius angrily, "If you can't see how much she's hurting then you don't deserve her"

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" James shouted back, "Tell me what to do"

"Fight for her. If you really want her back, don't give up and don't be afraid to fight for her. Give her some time, she'll come back" said Remus coming into the room, having heard everything

"She's had a month" James argued

"And she has gotten better, she was...really fragile when she first moved in" said Sirius, "but today she was different, happier more content"

"So if you just give her a little longer" said Remus

"Yeah, you won her over once and she hated you then, at least this time she already loves you"

"Okay, alright" said James

* * *

10PM THAT NIGHT 

"Ooooo Lily's back" said Mari looking out of the living room window of the Marauders flat

"Already" said Kelly untangling herself from Remus and going over to the window, "can't have been that good a date"

"Or maybe it was a great date and they're coming back for 'coffee'" said Mari forgetting that James was in the room.

"I uh need a drink" said James getting up and leaving the room.

"Oh shit I forgot he was here" said Mari

"It's okay, I'll go and make sure he's okay" said Sirius going after James

Sirius went into the hall and found James with his eye pressed against the peep hole.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Sirius amused

"What does it look like?" said James, "oh here they come. If she kisses him I'm going to kill myself"

"Calm down mate it's a first date"

"He touched her arm, I'm gonna tear him apart limb from limb" said James clenching his fists, "She's opening the door, I think he's goin in I'm gonna kill him, no wait she's stopping him. I don't believe it he's leaning in, Yessss she turned and gave him the cheek. That's my girl. And the bastard is gone"

James and Sirius went back into the living room and they hadn't even sat down when they heard Lily in the kitchen. A few seconds later Lily came into the living room.

_'Wow that little black dress looks amazing on her, I remember the last time she wore it. I slid down one of the straps and the other one slid down as well, then I...'_ then James' thoughts were interupted by Sirius.

"Help yourself to our beers, why don't you" said Sirius indicating to the beer bottle in her hand.

"Thanks I will" said Lily sitting down on the floor opposite James

"So..." said Kelly, "How was the date?"

"Ugh awful. He was so boring" said Lily, "we went to a French restaurant and the waiters only spoke, get this ITALIAN. I only know how to swear in Italian"

"A French restaurant, where you can only speak Italian, thats insane" laughed Sirius

"I know. It was awful" moaned Lily " and they didn't even serve alcohol"

"Its an outrage" laughed Remus

"Okay, what about the guy?" asked Kelly

_'He wasn't James'_ thought Lily, but she couldn't say that

"He was so dull, he spent an hour explaining to me what a telephone is. My parents are muggles for fuck sake, I know what a fucking telephone is" ranted Lily

"So you're not announcing the engagement anytime soon" teased Mari

"God no, hopefully I'll never see the guy again." said Lily, "I don't think I could stand it and the worst part is he thought it was going really well. He kept trying to kiss me and hold my hand"

"He's a monster" gasped Mari, "better off without him"

"Why? Whats wrong with him wanting to hold your hand?" asked Kelly

James shot a look a Remus that clearly said, control your girlfriend.

"Invasion of personal space, I was sending him all the signals for him to fuck off and keep his hands to himself." said Lily, "Anyway, I'm startting to feel a little overdressed, I'm gonna go and change"

James went into the kitchen to get another beer, when he opened the fridge he saw that there was none left.

"We're out of beers" he shouted

"There is some at our place" Kelly shouted to him.

James conjored the door and went through to the girls' flat. He saw Lily, standing with her back to him, trying to undo the zip at the back of her dress.

"Stupid, fucking, useless zip" she grumbled

James went up behind her and undid her zip,

"here let me help you" he said softly into her ear.

Tingles went through Lily's body as soon as James fingers made contact with her skin, she could feel his warm breath on her neck.

"Thank you" she whispered

"No problem"

Lily subtly shifted so that her back was touching James' chest

_'This feel so nice, I've missed him so much'_ thought Lily then she realised what she was doing

"I uh should go and change" she said taking a step away from him.

"Uh yeah, I uh just came through to get some beers" he said turning towards the fridge.


	6. Physicals Part 1

**Physicals Part 1**

It had now been a week since Lily's date.

Sirius, Kelly and Remus were in the boys' kitchen, Lily came in dressed in a pair of boxers and a man's shirt.

"Can I use your shower, Mari's hogging ours" said Lily

"James is in right now, but he shouldn't be much longer" said Remus

"Awww I need one now, or I'm not going to make it in time" whined Lily

"You could always join him oooh or Mari. I could watch" said Sirius

"Hmmm thats not a bad idea" said Lily

"I'll get my camera" said Sirius excitedly jumping up

"Oh sit down" said Lily rolling her eyes then she made her way to the boys' bathroom

Remus, Kelly and Sirius waited and about few minutes later, James ran out of the bathroom clutching at a towel, to cover his 'area'.

"James" exclaimed Remus, "there are ladies present" he said covering Kelly's eyes

"She-she" spluttered James pointing to Lily who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"She got you out of the shower" said Lily slamming the door.

"Wow, she..." said James as he stared incredulously at the spot where Lily had just been standing, "she's wow"

A little while later James was sitting in the kitchen with Sirius, Remus and Kelly, still thinking about how incredible Lily was.

Then Lily emerged from the bathroom in only a towel.

"Sirius put your tongue back in" said Lily

James looked over at him and glared when he saw him practically drooling over Lily. Seeing James' glare, Sirius quickly averted his eyes.

"Oh here Jamesie I borrowed these" said Lily dropping the pair of boxers she had been wearing, before going in the shower, in his lap.

"My boxers. What were you doing with my boxers?" said James grinning, "That's a little kinky"

"Don't talk about me, I know what happened to my red lacy bra and matching underwear" said Lily

James blushed slightly he had taken her underwear to remember the good times. He also had her rings with him everyday, in fact they were in his pocket right now.

"No idea, what you're talking about" grinned James

"Sure whatever" said Lily sarcastically

"Now what were you doing with my boxers?"

"I like knowing I can get into your underwear anytime I want" teased Lily as she conjured the door joining the two flats.

"Anytime, sweetheart, just say the word" James shouted after her.

----------------------------------

LATER THAT DAY AT THE MINISTRY

"So, what's going on with you and James" Kelly asked Lily. Lily was in the middle of giving Kelly her physical.

"What do you mean? Nothing. We're friends" said Lily

"Who are you kidding? You two have been flirting ever since he moved in. It's like you're both 16 all over again. What's the deal?"

"Hmmm, don't know what you're talking about"

"Lily, I've known you since we were 11, you can't fool me. Do you still love him?"

"Of course I do, he's one of my best friends. I love him the same way I love you, Mari, Siri and Remus"

"LIAR"

"Okay" sighed Lily knowing she couldn't fool Kelly, "I do love him, so much"

"I knew it"

"Yeah, so what do you want a medal" snapped Lily

"Hey don't get mad at me, just because you still love your ex-husband, who still loves you by the way"

"What? Don't be stupid of course he doesn't and he's not my ex-husband"

"What is he then? And he does still love you, you have to be blind not to know"

"He's my husband, just my husband" said Lily quietly

"I don't understand"

"We didn't sign the fucking papers"

"WHAT? WHY THE HELL NOT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME"

"I don't know"

"I do, you didn't tell me cause' you still love him and you want him back" teased Kelly in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up"

"Admit it!"

"Admit what?"

"That you want Jamesie back and you love him"

"No I don't"

"Lily"

"Well, oh I don't know. It's just so fucked up"

"Awww Lils it's okay" said Kelly putting her arm around Lily, "maybe you should talk to him about this"

"No" said Lily shaking her head, "I'm just not ready for that, you know the emotional talk about what went wrong. I'm just so emotionally fucked right now, I can't handle it"

"Okay, you know you can talk to me anytime"

"I know, thanks Kels"

"Anytime"

"Oh come on, I'm just being silly. Anyway that's you finished"

----------------------------------------

James who was standing outside the door, had heard everything.

_'Maybe there's hope after all, she said she loved me'_ thought James, _'although she also said she loved Sirius and Remus'_

James didn't have time to mull it over. Lily and Kelly were coming out. He quickly went over and sat next to Sirius and some other Aurors that were waiting.

"Alright next, Black Sirius" said Lily emerging from the office with a clipboard in her hand.

"Such formalities, Lily doll, everyone knows what's gonna happen when we close that office door" said Sirius suggestively

"Why don't we leave the door open and let everyone watch" teased Lily

"Wh-what seriously" stuttered Sirius

"Yeah. Who wants to see a real life castration"

Sirius looked outraged that Lily could even say such a thing, "You're bloody mad, you know that"

"Hmmm yes I know. Now go into the office, take off your trousers, and I'll be in with the chainsaw in a minute"

"Hmmmph" grumbled Sirius going into the office

"Alright, last physical then it's time for a break" said Lily, before following Sirius into the office and closing the door.

James sat staring at the door the whole time Lily and Sirius were in it. When they eventually came out Sirius was grinning like an idiot. Lily just looked bored.

James soon saw why Sirius was grinning, he saw a familar tie, tied around Sirius' wrist.

"Wow, Siri, you uh rocked my world" said Lily rolling her eyes looking uninterested.

"I know, you weren't so bad yourself" said Sirius

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK? IS THAT MY TIE?" exploded James

"Uh huh" said Sirius happily

"Happy now?" said Lily, "you've gotten your revenge"

"Not quite" said Sirius, "but it's a start"

"What so you didn't...you know" spluttered James

"No" said Sirius quickly seeing the look in James' eye

"Oh sit down before you pop a vein" said Lily

Then Remus and Marissa came out of their offices with their paitents.

"Alright time for a break" said Mari

----------------------------------------

A little while later Sirius, James, Remus, Mari, Lily and Kelly were sitting in the Ministry cafe drinking coffee.

"Who's your next paitents?" asked Kelly

"James" said Remus

"Hmmm Amos Diggory, delicious" said Mari

"Emmm" said Lily looking down her list, "Oh fucking shit, you've got to be fucking kidding me"

"Lily" said Sirius feigning shock, "Language"

"Who is it?" asked Kelly

"Kyle Frederickson"

"The boring sod you went out with" said Mari

"Yeah that one" said Lily, "ugh I don't want to see him with no shirt on. One of you have to switch with me"

"Well I don't want to see him topless either" said Mari

"Remus"

"Why do I get stuck with the one no'one wants" said Remus

"Oh come on. What if he pounces on me?" Lily shuddered as she said this.

"Of course, he'll swap with you" said James, not liking the idea of Lily in a room alone with any guy at all, let alone the one she had gone out on a date with.

Remus and James then started a conversation about Quidditch. Then Mari noticed Lily's face tense up and he eyes narrow. Mari turned and saw what Lily was looking at.

"Uh oh, get ready to see some fireworks" Mari whispered to Kelly.

Kim, (the slut that slept with James) came over to their table.

"Hi Jamie" she said wrapping her arms around his neck and sitting down next to him.

"What do _you_ want" said James taking her arms off him.

"Well you've been back from Egypt for more than a week and we haven't _caught up_" she said seductively running her hand down his shirt over his chest

"I told you before I left. I. Don't. Want. To. Have. Anything. To. Do. With. You" said James dangerously as he once again removed Kim's hands from his body.

"Yeah, but you didn't mean it"

"Yes I did" said James standing up.

"No, I know you didn't, you just wanted the divorce to go smoothly and now that it's over we can pick up where we left off"

"What part of leave me alone, don't you get?" said James feeling his temper rising.

_'what if Lily thinks she's telling the truth, then any tiny chance of me getting her back are gone'_

"Come on, baby. Now that you've divorced that bitch, we can be together" coed Kim

"Kym" said Lily standing up, "why don't you save yourself any further embarassment and fuck off"

"Get lost, bitch" said Kim to Lily, who was now standing in front of her, "I won't lose him"

"See that's the thing" said Lily sweetly, "You can't lose what you never had" then she sat back down.

"That's what you think James and I had, no have something special. You were just there to produce an heir" said Kim viciously.

"I guess that means you weren't _'special'_ enough" said Lily

"You..." started Kim

"Enough" said James raising his voice, (which he never did), "Lily, she's lying I swear you weren't..."

"I know" said Lily cutting him off

"Kim go away" said James in a dangerously low voice

"James, you can't give up on what we have" pleaded Kim

"Listen, we don't have ANYTHING and what we did was the biggest mistake of my life cost me the best thing that ever happened to me and I'll hate myself for it til the day I die" said James still remaining calm, "Now get out of my sight before I do something I regret."

---------------------------------------

I know that was a really long chapter but I just couldn't find an appropriate place to stop

Th next chapter is almost ready and should be up before Monday (I hope)

Anyway Review and tell me what you think


	7. Physicals Part 2

**Physicals Part 2**

"Alright, next, Potter James" said Lily

"No, there's been a mistake, Lily, I'm next" said Kyle

"No sorry you're with Healer Lupin. I will be conducting Mr Potter's physical" said Lily professionally

"Why? I was hoping we could talk, maybe arrange another time to meet up" said Kyle

James was just about to get up and throttle Kyle and tell him to stay the hell away from his wife.

"Mr Potter, will you please come through" said Lily, completely ignoring Kyle.

"Such formalities Mrs Potter, we were married for 4 years and together for 6. You know that I'm in top physical condition, well in every way that matters" said James cockily.

"Why do I have to take this abuse from paitents just because I live with them" said Lily rolling her eyes and then going into the office, closely followed by James.

-------------------------------------------

"Okay I just need to fill out these forms about your medical history" said Lily sitting behind her desk

"Go ahead you know it better than I do anyway" said James sitting down on the opposite side of the desk.

"Okay" Lily started filling out the forms and then about 5 minutes later she looked up and raised her eyebrow, "Impotence, well..."

"Don't you dare, you know damn well that there is nothing wrong with me... down there" said James outraged

"I'm only joking" giggled Lily, "I'm finished. Take off your shirt, so I can hook you up to the heart monitor"

"Okay" said James getting up and unbuttoning his shirt.

_'Wow I had forgotten how delicious his body was, look at that six pack, yummmmy'_ thought Lily as James removed his shirt.

"Oi stop drooling you perverted, saucy little minx"

"You wish" said Lily attaching wires to James' chest, her heart beating a little faster at the contact between her hand and his naked chest, "now if you'll get on the treadmill and start running please"

"I know what this is. It's all a complicated ploy to get me half naked and all sweaty" said James

"Yeah that's what it is, you're that irresistable"

"Thought so"

_'WOW I don't recall his six pack being half as yummy looking when we were together. Why can't we be together now? He obviously doesn't care about Kim. But that doesn't mean he wants me either'_

"Do you know that these wires are monitoring your heart rate. It's like a muggle lie detechtor test. I could ask you anything and I'd know if you were lying" said Lily

"You always could tell when I was lying" said James

"Not always, I didn't know about you and Kim, did I?" said Lily avoiding looking at James.

"You know that time you... you"

"Walked in on the two of you"

"Yeah, that was the only time I swear"

Lily still wouldn't look at James, her eyes were on the monitor, "Hmmm you passed"

"Look, Lily, you weren't just there to have a son, I swear I don't know where she got that from"

"I know, I don't even have to look at the monitor to know that. When we were good, it was perfect, I know it wasn't always as bad as it was at the end"

"Lily, love" said James coming off the treadmill and standing in front of Lily.

"What? Get b..."

James cut her off with a kiss.

------------------------------

LILY'S POV

He kisses me. I kiss him back, after aching for his kiss for so long, it was heaven. Strong and Engulfing. Making me weak at the knees, but then he always did have that effect on me.

I'm boiling over with desire and anticipation. I throw my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, never wanting it to end.

Suddenly James flings me up against the nearest wall, barely pausing long enought to perform a silencing charm on the room.

His lips mesh into mine and we're kissing so hard, I can't tell them apart. I rip the wires off his chest. He lifts up my skirt and and removes my underwear in one swift movement. I start to unbutton his trousers, but he pushes my eager hands aside, and does it himself. I love how he takes control.

I kiss him again, more intensely, I'm running my hands through his gorgeous, soft hair.

He lifts me off my feet, so that we're perfectly in line with each other, his hands on my back, steadying me for his withdrawal.

Then he sinks into me. I stare into his eyes and he stares back. Never losing me, not for a second.

It feels amazing. It feels important. It feels right.

He's climbing, he's filling, he plugging. He completes me.

I can't help it, I let out a cry of pleasure and then I feel his hot release inside of me.

Then it's over.

But I know that when it comes to James, it will never be over.

-----------------------

sorry bout the cliffie I will update soon I promise


	8. Consequences

**Consequences**

James lowered Lily onto her feet. Both of them were panting as the aftershocks of their climaxes raced through their bodies. They straightened out their clothes still not saying anythi"ng.

"Lily" started James

"Hey, Lily...why is this door locked?" shouted Mari, "Alohamora" then she came into the room, "Oh sorry I didn't realise you had a paitent, oh it's only you, James"

"Yeah, we're just finishing. James I need you to sign that form on the desk" said Lily

"Okay" said James then he went over to the desk to sign the form

"So what's up?" Lily asked Mari.

"Oh I need some more forms" said Mari, "and some romantic advice"

Lily almost laughed, _'me give romantic advice, I couldn't even tell my own husband about... My love life is so screwed up. And James is staring at me and I don't know what they hell I'm going to do'_

"Earth to Lily" said Mari waving her hand in front of Lily's face.

"Oh sorry I'll just get you the forms and then we'll talk" said Lily snapping out of her daze.

"Uh James this is sort of girl talk you're welcome to stay but..." said Mari

"Um, no I've got to go I've got a staff meeting" mumbled James, "I'll see you later"

"See ya"

James left the room, Lily sat behind her desk.

"So what's the problem?" asked Lily

Mari started to tell her, about how Amos Diggory had asked her out but she was sorta seeing a guy and she really liked him, but wasn't sure how he felt about her.

Then something caught Lily's eye on her desk. On top of James' form was a scrap piece of parchment.

_Meet me at 3pm at Starbucks_

_James_

--------------------------------

3PM THAT DAY

Lily went into Starbucks and immediately spotted James

"Hi, sorry I'm late. I had to fill out some paperwork" she said.

"It's okay, I got you an espresso"

"Thanks"

"So, uh..." said James, "shit I thought that once I saw you I'd know what to say"

"This is about what happened earlier"

"Yeah" said James "clearly there's still an attraction and a shit load of chemistry between us"

"Stating the obvious" muttered Lily

"I heard that" said James, "anyway what I'm saying is...shit I don't know that the hell I'm saying"

"You were going to say that we shouldn't let it happen again and that we should just get on with our lives"

"No I wasn't" smirked James, "But I knew that that was what you wanted me to say"

Lily just shrugged trying to look indifferent.

"Cause that would be the sensible thing to say" James continued proceeding cautiously remembering what Lily had said that morning about not being ready for all the emotional stuff, "But when have I ever been sensibile"

"Hmmm it was fantastic" said Lily

"It was bloody amazing. Especially since it was the first time in 6 weeks that we..."

"Wow has it really been 6 weeks. Seems like a lifetime ago"

"It was only 6 weeks"

"Shit that's the longest I've ever went without a..." said Lily

"Multipule Orgasm" offered James proudly. Lily had lost her virginity to him.

"Yes, don't get too bigheaded. The first time it only happened once" said Lily who couldn't help but smile at the gleeful expression on James' face

"Still, that's 6 years of at least 2 orgasms a day"

"Actually it averaged at about 4" said Lily quietly

"4 a day or each time?" James enquired

"Each time" said Lily grudgingly

"Wow" laughed James, "I didn't know I was that good"

"Well, like I said don't get too bigheaded"

"Awww don't be like that. You were the best sex I ever had"

"I know"

They fell into a comfortable silence

"You're not ready, are you?" asked James breaking the silence.

"For what?"

"The inevitable talk we have to have about what went wrong between us"

"No, I'm not" said Lily, "Are you?"

"Honestly no, my head is still fucked up"

"Mine too" said Lily, "but to be honest I don't think I can go another 6 weeks with another..."

"Orgasm" offered James

"Yeah. But the thing is... Why am I telling you this?" said Lily realising how weird it was talking to her almost-ex-husband.

"You know why? What is it?"

"I... uh just don't feel ready to... with anyone else"

"Me neither"

"Well I guess there is only one solution" sighed Lily

"Yep wanking and dildos" said James

"Do you always have to say the most inappropriate things in public places. Those old women nearly choked on their early bird specials" hissed Lily

James turned and looked over to the table next to them and saw two old ladies whispering intently and giving him side glares.

"Yes ladies I wank and she uses dildos, vibrating rabbit ones are her favourite I believe" he said calmly as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say.

The old ladies just looked shocked and then they whispered more fiercely. Lily grabbed James' hand and dragged him outside.

"I can't believe you just did that" she said

"Well serves the old hags right, listening in like that" said James

"Oh come on, lets go home" laughed Lily before apparating her and James just outside of their flat doors, (they couldn't apparate inside because of the protection charms in place).

"Right so..." started James, Lily cut him off with a kiss.

Although shocked he instantly responded pulling her to him. She put her fingers in his belt loops and tugged on them, urging him to come with her.

They made it into the girl's flat, luckily nobody was home, they made it into Lily's bedroom without breaking the kiss. Lily pushed James onto her bed and got on top of him.

"No, Lily wait" said James breaking the kiss

"What?" said Lily the she started kissing his neck and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Lily, what is this? What are we doing?"

"Well I would have thought that was obvious" said Lily who had now taken off his shirt and thrown it onto the floor.

"Lily"

"Yes" she said, now straddling him, then she started to slowly unbutton her black blouse. James only saw the top of a red lacy bra.

He was now so hard he thought his trousers were going to burst from the strain.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked seductively, knowing he wasn't going to say yes.

"Right that is it" said James and before Lily could even blink, James had reversed their positions so that he was on top. "A man can only take so much torture, love" he said softly

He unbuttoned the rest of her blouse and threw it onto the floor.

"How did you know?" he said eyeing the red lacy bra lustfully, "my only weakness" he slid his hand up her skirt, "maybe not. What happened to those gorgeous panties I enjoyed taking off so much?"

"They're in my bag" moaned Lily, "Why, do you want me to put them on?"

"No it's much easier this way" he said practically ripping her skirt off.

"Hmm I think it's time for those trousers to come off, before that zip bursts"

James happily obliged

---------------------------------------

LATER...

James collapsed next to Lily exhausted and panting

"Wow" he panted

"Yeah, wow"

"How'd I do?"

"Higher than average" Lily replied

"How many?"

"6"

"Bloody Hell"

"I know"

"Lily" said James getting serious, "What are we going to do? Neither of us are ready for... but I can't..."

"I know"

"So..."

"A physical relationship, nothing more" said Lily

"Just sex, nothing else. What about friendship?"

"Of course I just meant everything the same but..."

"But sex"

"Yes" confirmed Lily

"Maybe when we're ready it might turn into something more"

"Maybe or it might cause more pain. I don't know and I can't make any promises. It's up to you take it or leave it"

"Okay but two conditions, obviously we're not going to tell everyone" said James

"Obviously that goes without say"

"And two you can't date, while"

"emmmm alright agreed"

"Agreed"


	9. Late

**Late?**

Lily was sitting on the sofa thinking. She had been sleeping with James for the past month now.

At first she had thought they could keep their relationship purely physical, and even though the sex was still mindblowing, she wasn't sure it was going to be enough. After they had _finished_ she had to force herself to get up and leave, all she really wanted to do was lie in his arms. Every morning when she woke up alone, she ached for him, to give him a good morning kiss, for them to have breakfast with him and most importantly for them to go back to the way they were before...

He was at a Quidditch match with Sirius and Remus.

_'He always looks so cute and so sexy in his England strip, especially when he's upset if they lose. If they win, he always tells me about it, at least he used to, he always looks so adorable like a little boy, his face lits up. He's due back soon'_

"L-Lily" said Mari coming into the room, interupting Lily's thoughts.

"Mari, what is it?" asked Lily worriedly, seeing the state that Mari was clearly in.

"I'm late, Lils, I'm really late" she said on the verge of tears.

"Late... you mean..."

"I mean I was due **_3_** **_weeks_** ago. Lils what if I'm pregnant?"

"Hey, shhh" said Lily putting her arm around Mari's shoulder, "it'll be okay"

"No, **_3 weeks, 3 weeks_**"

"Shit"

"What?"

"Fuck, mine is always the week after yours. Oh great, I'm 2 weeks late" said Lily

"Really"

"You don't have to sound so happy about it"

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just... will you take the test with me" said Mari

"Take what test?" said Lily coming into the room and flopping down on the sofa next to Lily and Mari.

"Um Lily and I are both a little late, you know on the time of the month, so a pregnan..." said Mari trailing off

"WHAT? BOTH OF YOU? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TWO SLEEPING WITH?"shouted Kelly

"No'one" said Lily and Mari, quickly at the exact same time.

"OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE"

"Kels, it really doesn't matter. Will you go and get us the tests please?" pleaded Mari

"Fine" said Kelly getting up, "I'll be back soon" then she stomped from the room.

Once they heard the flat door slam behind Kelly, Lily turned to Mari.

"Right, she's gone, spill it" said Lily

"What?" said Mari pretending she had no idea what she was talking about.

"C'mon this is me, I won't judge you. Who's is it? Do you know?"

"Lily. One I don't even know if I am pregnant and yes if I am I know who's it is. God you really think a lot of me, don't you?"

"I'm sorry. Come on tell me who?" said Lily

"Promise you won't tell"

"I'm hurt you'd even have to ask, I won't tell a soul, not even Kels"

"Sirius" whispered Mari. (A/N - bet you never saw that coming, (note the sarcasm))

"Sirius" Lily choked out, "Sirius. Sirius Black"

"Yep"

"Oh my god. When? How? Why?"

"About 7 weeks ago and ever since"

"What you two have been at it for nearly 2 months?"

"Uh huh, don't ask how cause I don't know, one minute we were talking and the next..." said Mari, "shit I've made a right mess"

"Hey, don't worry it might just be a scare"

"Well you would know." said Mari then she instantly regretted saying that, "Look at me, breaking down, you must be feeling exactly the same especially after..."

"Hmmm I guess" said Lily with a small smile on her face.

"What? You look positively... well happy"

"Maybe I am"

"Right spill. Who's the father?"

"I might not even be..."

"Tell me, come on I told you"

"Alright, just between us"

"Of course"

"James"

"I KNEW IT"

"How did you know?"

"You looked so happy, wow you and James. That's why you're happy"

"Yeah, I love him. I love him more than anything"

--------------------------------------

MEANWHILE

Kelly had gotten the tests, she was just outside the flat, when Sirius, Remus and James almost apparated right on top of her.

"Hey, watch it" said Kelly angrily

"Oh sorry, pumpkin" said Remus, helping Kelly up.

"Here is your bag" said James handing Kelly the carrier bag, she had dropped.

"Thanks, I see you guys later" said Kelly snatching the bag from James, but not before he saw what was in it. She stormed into the flat.

"Did you see what was in her bag" said James

"You looked in her bag" said Remus

"You'll be glad I did, she had a pregnancy test" said James

"What? Are you sure?" said Remus.

"I'm positive"

"Well, it can't be hers" said Remus.

"Why not? You are sleeping together, aren't you?" said Sirius

"Yes, but we're careful and it was her... special time last week, so it can't be hers" babbled Remus

"It must be Mari's" said James, "or Lily's"

"Come on, let's find out" said Sirius.

-------------------------

A few minutes later Sirius, Remus and James were huddled under the invisibility cloak, in the girls' living room.

"Right, so who's going first?" said Kelly

"I'll go" said Lily grabbing one of the tests off the coffee table, and headed towards the bathroom.

_'She could be pregnant, I could be dad. I hope she is, then we can give it a proper go, she's feeling it again, I know our relationship isn't just physical, not to either of us'_ thought James

Kelly and Mari stayed silent for the next few minutes, until Lily came back into the room.

"Right, next" said Lily as she entered the living room again, holding the test, and putting it on the coffee table.

"Okay, I'm going. Wait how do I..." said Mari

"There's a diagram inside the box" said Lily

"Well I guess you would know, this is your what 10th pregnancy test" said Mari

"Fourth if you don't mind" replied Lily. Mari left the room.

_'FOURTH! She's been pregnant before, she didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me?'_

"Fourth! What the fuck?" spluttered Kelly

"I've had a few scares that's all" said Lily

"Okay I'm done, now what?" said Mari anxiously

"Now we wait three minutes" said Lily

"How am I supposed the wait three minutes" wailed Mari.

"Hold on, Lily why didn't you tell me about your 'little scares'?" said Kelly

"I didn't see the need. I was young and stupid, I wasn't ready. I didn't even tell James" said Lily

"What happened? When?" asked Kelly

"The first one was in 7th year, I was terrified I'd only been seeing James for a few months, I wasn't ready" said Lily, "the second one was a few weeks after our honeymoon. I was still petrified, I was only 19. I thought about telling James, but when the test came back negative, I didn't see the point, neither of us were ready to be parents"

"And the third?"

"Ah the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to me. It was about 3 months ago, this one terrified me the most. I had ran out of excuses, before I was only 17, then 19 but now I'm 22 we'd been married for 4 years. It came back negative but I was still freaking out. I started to pull away from James and... we ended up in divorce court"

"Oh"

"Yeah, oh" said Lily

"What about this time?" asked Kelly

"This time it's not so scary" replied Lily

"So you want it to be positive?" said Kelly

"I dunno, it's not great timing or circumstances and there's a million reasons why I shouldn't. But I guess there could be worse things" said Lily

"What about you, Mari?" said Kelly

"I don't know, I just don't fucking know. Shit, shit, fuck, shit"

"It'll be okay, if you are he'll be a great dad, you know he will" said Lily trying to reassure Mari

"I know" admitted Mari

_'She knows, Lily knows it's my baby'_ thought Sirius, under the cloak

"Wait, you told Lily who the father is, but you won't tell me" said Kelly

"I don't even know if I am pregnant or not" said Mari

"Well, we're about to find out" said Lily, "It's time" she went over and picked up her test.

"Well?" said Kelly impaitently

"Negative" said Lily, disappointed, "C'mon Mari, your turn"

Mari went over and picked up her test, "Positive, shit" said Mari before collapsing onto the sofa in tears, "Wh-what am I g-going to do?"

"Hey don't worry it'll be alright" said Lily

---------------------------------

Sirius couldn't take it anymore, he threw the cloak off of the three of them, and went over to Mari and pulled her into his arms.

"Hey come on, don't cry, you don't have to worry. We'll get through this together. Whatever you decide I'll support you no matter what" he said to her.

"You don't have to, you don't have to feel guilty. I got myself into this mess" sobbed Mari as she clung onto Sirius

"Hey, don't talk like that. I love you and I love our baby" he said emotionally.

"Maybe we should give them some privacy" said Lily, who could feel James' eyes boring into her.

She, Kelly, Remus and James went into the boys' flat.

"Uh Kels, I think we should leave these two alone as well" said Remus.

"Yeah" said Kelly as she allowed Remus to steer her out of the room.

"Lily" said James

"James"

"You know that talk we didn't feel ready to have?"

"Uh huh"

"It's time to now"


	10. What went wrong

**LAST CHAPTER**

_"You know that talk we didn't feel ready to have?"_

_"Uh huh"_

_"It's time to now"_

**What went wrong?**

"Okay" said Lily sitting down.

James sat down on the sofa next to her.

Lily leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, "I love you" she said

"What was that for?" he asked

"I just wanted to kiss you, just in case it was the last time I got to" said Lily

"I seriously doubt it will be love" said James then he leaned in and kissed Lily, "I love you" he said echoing her words

"You might not, when I tell you..." said Lily her eyes filling with tears.

"No, I will always love you, nothing you could ever say will ever change that" he said firmly

"You don't know that"

"I do. I've loved you since I was 14 years old and I'm not giving up on us. I was stupid enough to lose you and I'm not going to let that happen ever again"

"I hope so, I really do" said Lily the she wiped her tears, "Okay I'm ready."

"Okay" said James then he took a deep breath, "What happened? When did you become unhappy? When did you and Mario... Why did you..."

"Wow that is a lot of questions" said Lily interupting him,

"I know, I'm sorry, I just need to..."

"Shhh I know. I wasn't unhappy, I was scared terrified in fact"

"Because of the scare"

"Uh yeah, there's something I didn't mention in there, in fact only Mari knows. The..uh test...it...it came back p-positive" said Lily who was trying to stop herself from falling apart.

"You were pregnant"

Lily nodded her head.

"What happened, you're not pregnant now, did you have an abor... termination" said James hoping with all his heart that she hadn't.

"No, it's much worse" said Lily as tears started to fall down her face.

"Lily tell me, what happened? Please tell me"

"It was all my fault, I was so scared, it was karma for the times I was relieved that I wasn't. I should have known better... I should have told you... I wasn't looking, I fell, it..." said Lily who had now completely broken down.

James took her into his arms until she started to calm down.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't...it was all my fault" sobbed Lily

"No, no it wasn't you did nothing wrong" (A/N -For all you stupid people out there, Lily had a miscarriage)

"I couldn't even carry our baby... I'm sorry, you don't deserve this"

"Don't you dare talk like that nobody could have prevented it. I should have known, I should have protected you. And what did I do, sleep with..." now it was James that had dissolved into tears.

Lily put her arms around James' neck hugging him. They just sat sobbing and clinging on to each other.

"James, please you're the strongest person I know, please" pleaded Lily

James pulled away and looked at Lily, but couldn't quite look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry... you were going through... and I-I was... oh god" said James burying his head in his hands

"Hey, don't you didn't know, how could you have known?" she said lifting his head.

"How can you even bear to look at me?" he asked

"Because I've had time and I know that you didn't know, as far as you knew I was just having an affair"

"But you're my wife, I should have known that something was wrong otherwise you wouldn't have... I shouldn't have..."

"No you shouldn't have, but neither should I" said Lily sitting back from James, "I'm sorry I did sleep with Mario"

James hung his head and Lily could tell how hurt he was.

"You were the one who asked. Do you want me to tell you?"

"No I don't want to hear ir, but I have and I'd rather get it over and done with" said James

"Okay" said Lily taking a deep breath before continuing, "it was a week after I lost... anyway I was weak, vulnerable, ashamed and every other emotion imaginable and.. it was awful, I remember lying there part of me wishing you would come home just so that he would stop, and the other part of me wishing you wouldn't because I had destroyed everything we had ever had"

"Shhhh, no no you didn't. That was me, you should never have had to go through any of that alone" said James

"It was my own fault I should have told you, I was going to but it was too late..." said Lily then she pulled herself together again, "right it's your turn now"

"I-I don't know what to say, I was a selfish bastard, I have no defence. I-I don't deserve you, you'll be better off without m-me. I-I'll sign the p-papers and leave I'll go to my parents'...I'm sorry" said James

"No don't you dare, you selfish asshole" said Lily angrily, "Would that make you feel better?"

"N-no of course not"

"Make you feel less guilty, being noble. Leaving me... all alone to cope... without you"

"L-Lily I don't want to hurt you anymore"

"Then don't leave me" she said going over to him and wrapping her arms around his chest and hugging him, "you said you loved me"

"I do love you"

"Then why do you want to leave me then?"

"I don't but... I...I've treated you so badly, I don't want to hurt you, it kills me that I've caused you so much unnecessary pain. I wasn't there when you needed me. I let you down"

"No you didn't, and you were there"

"No I wasn't, not when it mattered"

"Yes you were. Do you remember the night you came home late?"

"Which night?"

"Wednesday August 13th, I was already asleep and you wanted to..."

"Yeah, you said you had a headache"

"Uh huh, you held me, kissed me and said you loved me and I cried in your arms all night"

"And I didn't even wake up"

"But it comforted me so much just having you there"

"But not enough..."

"James we're going round in circles" said Lily, "now I love you, I love you more than anything and I want" Lily put her hand in James' pocket and pulled out her rings, "nothing more that to put these back on. But only if you want me to, not because you feel guilty"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, but what about you?"

James didn't answer, instead he pulled Lily into a kiss, filled with all the love, tenderness and passion he felt.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Uh yeah, it does" said Lily who could feel herself getting weak at the knees, "but I think I'm going to need another kiss, just to be sure"

James pulled her in to him and kissed her again. When they pulled away, James took Lily's rings and held her left hand.

"I've been waiting so long to do this" he said as he slipped her engagement ring on, "I meant every word of my wedding vows, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you'll let me"

"Of course and I swear I'll make it up to you too, cause I love you so much" said Lily then she added impaitently, "Come on hurry up"

James laughed and slid her wedding ring on.

"Okay, your turn now" said Lily

"Oh, we shouldn't disturb Mari and Siri"

"I've got it here silly" said Lily reaching for the chain round her neck, she pulled it out from under her top. James saw his wedding ring on it. Lily took it off the chain and put in on his finger.

"There it's official, again, you're mine forever"

"Yeah and you better be mine, to love, to hold and to cherish forever, Lily Potter, because I don't think I can go through any of this again"

"That makes two of us. I need you James Potter, like I've never needed anyone and I've felt so empty these past few months without you, like a part of me was missing"


	11. Author Notes SEQUEL

**Hey Everyone I decided that I'm not going to Continue with **

**This Story**

**BUT DON'T CRY**

**The Sequel 'Marauder Jnrs'**

**is up NOW**

**Thnx everyone and check out the sequel**


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